Side Note: I'd like to mention that my personal perception of Porn as an "art form" can be a beautiful expression of connection to witness and enjoy from the comfort of our own home. What a radical way of igniting our passion for pleasure and potentially learning how other humans perceive intimacy and connection.
Unfortunately, the majority of these paid actors who volunteer for these staged scenes aren't authentically experiencing pure pleasure in the body. Most of these "actors" are extremely disembodied, numb, sexually abused, self medicated and only preforming in scenes that are being dictated by popular demand. When we're looking at the general population we can see statistically that majority of Americans don't posses a basic understand of any modern sex education. Imagine all these uneducated people dictating what is popular and how hard that must be for those who actually have a genuine need for healthy content. (Gosh, that much be so confusing!)
Below you will notice in 2019 some data was released by big Porn companies that collected the most popular Porn searches world wide.
As we examine these graphs, Id like to remind you that these searches tell a story about our culture, our sexual education, our perception on sensuality, intimacy, connection, self love, self awareness and self pleasure. These charts give us a clear perspective into cultural trauma and explaining cultural needs to better understanding what men and women are truly lacking through sex.
From a historical perspective we know that humans are created from this physical/energetic process that includes orgasm and pleasure. Most of us today have some level of understanding into procreation and this knowledge is usually the extend to our sex education. Sadly, so much information is totally left out, leaving us all confused, insecure and we're forced to seek outside of these standardizations for more options. Since society isn't structured to portray healthy sex, we might unconsciously process this subliminal message as something that is inherently bad, naughty or unacceptable.
So where do we go to find the healthier aspects of sex... for example: self love, self care, self awareness and self pleasure? Why aren't these fundamental teachings apart of the curriculum? I'm sure the answers go way back to when this country was originally developed...
Porn has become the byproduct of our societal collective shame and now we have people who feel more confident connecting sexually to a computer screen. As a practitioner, I've listened to loads of sexually frustrated men complain about this relationship they've created with "actors" who don't even exist in their emotional reality. They feel embarrassed, stuck and addicted to how they have formed this imaginary sense of connection with sexual energy. They struggle with presence, emotional maturity, embodiment, intimacy, empowerment and self awareness. When they actually have the rare opportunity to physically connect in real time, the body doesn't know how to sense itself and only energetically responds to images programmed into the mind (Porn brainwashing).
Now what if we want to heal this relationship to the body, mind and spirit? The answer will be somewhat different for each person since we all have different needs and desires related to connection. The best place to start, obviously isn't the easiest but honestly the most impactful would be exploring the shadows around our connection to self...SELF LOVE, SELF AWARENESS and SELF PLEASURE. Based on what you discover will highlight the needs and desires actually being hidden by your connection to Porn.